Staring out the window, watching the latest wintery mix of precipitation fall, my bones nearly ached wishing for warmer, sunny days when the girls could play on the snow covered swing set turned ice sculpture.
Oven on, dinner in, lovely smells filling the house. At the sound of the most recent sisterly bonding/fighting, my head hurts. Looking at the clock waiting until it will strike the hour of day winding down chaos - dinner, baths, prayers, bedtime.
Sitting in the afternoon enjoying a warm cup of herbal tea, listening to great Christian music, jotting down a few reminders for the week. Suddenly discontent, wishing for my old habit of afternoon coffee no longer permitted by Doctor's orders - thinking maybe someday we will meet again.
Quietly dreaming, peacefully sleeping, no worries in the world. Daily 2 AM infant feeding time wake up call. Stumble back to bed, lay down to thoughts of a future brightly encompassing full nights of sleep.
How many times a day do I wish away time? In the big things or small things, quiet time and loud. Peaceful nothing or chaotic craziness. It would seem I am not satisfied several times, several ways each day.
Enjoying the peaceful moment is not possible because I am waiting for the chaos. In the loudness, I long for calm, quiet solitude.
This life condition of never being content, settled, truly happy or peacefully calm has a firm grip on me.
But why?
What is so alluring about tomorrow?
Is is the uncertainty? Would have to be because it can't be the known. Today, the present is known.
Is it the potential? Possibly, because most days I have screwed up beyond repair before I have gotten out of bed.
Is it the promise? Not possible. We aren't promised a tomorrow.
Tomorrow is nothing
It doesn't exist except on a calendar.
It isn't full of hope or dreams come true.
There may not even be sun tomorrow (sorry Annie).
Tomorrow is nothing.
Today is everything.
Today, right now, is full of potential and promise.
Today is where dreams come to life.
Celebrate today.
Celebrate even if there are 2 minutes left in the day
Celebrate even if you have been up since 4 AM with a baby who doesn't plan on sleeping until next week
Celebrate even if every part of your body aches and all you can think about is bedtime
Celebrate even if it is snowing and the kids are home from school (again!)
Celebrate because God loves you enough to give you this beautiful day full of potential and promise and hope and joy and love
Celebrate because God loves you - even though He knows what you did yesterday
Celebrate because God loves you - even though He knows what you will do tomorrow
Tomorrow is nothing
Today is everything
Celebrate Today
So what are you waiting for? You have a Diem to Carpe - get to it
Celebrate!!
God Bless,
Hannah
The Farmer's Wife
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Monday, November 11, 2013
Silence
This time of year is always difficult for me. It shouldn’t be, but there is so much
pressure, real and perceived, it makes me very anxious. There are lights and noise everywhere. Holiday, because we can’t say Christmas
without offending, décor is out before Halloween. Black Friday sales start on Thanksgiving Day
making it increasingly difficult to be thankful for anything other than saving
15% off suggested retail price. We, as a
society, so all consumed with preparing for the next holiday, miss the wonderfully
perfect gift of the here and now.
So how do we come to enjoy just what we have been given
without seeking more from the world? How
do we discourage the world from encroaching on the joy we have found in the
present? How do we allow our hearts to
overflow with thanksgiving instead of worrying about tomorrow? How do we put the thanks back in
thanksgiving, the holy back in the holidays and Christ back in Christmas?
Silence. Not like
crickets chirping, “Bueller, Bueller” calling, anyone out there with an idea
silence, but honest silence.
Let the silence recharge your battery. Let His voice fill you with peace in an
anxious world.
Take a few moments to enjoy the silence all around you. As a mom to a 2 month old, I recommend 4AM as
a wonderful time to enjoy the silence.
If you are not such an early riser, a few moments in the middle of the
day or before bed work quite well.
During the rush of the days during the holidays, turn off the radio in
your vehicle and just listen to the silence.
Be as intentional about your need for silent time as you are
about anything else you need to do. Put
silent time on your to-do list. I think
you will find a positive relationship between your amount of silent time and
your outlook.
God Bless,
Hannah
The Farmer's Wife
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Having Girls and Loving my Husband
Just logged on here today and realized it has been a full 2 months without a single blog post. Wow! I had no idea I had been that deficient in posting but I can't say there is not a legitimate excuse or at least a good reason :)
The past 2 months have flown by! Around here school kids only get an 8 week summer break because of many schools switching to a balanced calendar. And even though I don't have school aged children (and won't really have to worry about a school calendar because of our intent to homeschool) all of our friends and activities are affected by the scheduling so there is a slight trickle down effect.
Today, I was blessed with some quiet time while my girls took a much needed morning nap. For almost a year now they have both been doing only 1 nap a day and it is usually in the afternoon. But today was full of drama, hair pulling, toy stealing, and just general girl hormones that a morning nap was the only way I could see to get past the every 5 minute meltdowns of epic proportions. Just one more thing I get to learn about because I have 2 girls. I have never really been into drama, no teenage rebellion or fabricated scenarios to fight about with my friends. I had 3 close friends growing up. 1 was my older sister, we had our "drama" but it was short lived and forgotten and the older we get the more we avoid any drama like the plague! The other two were friends for as long as I can remember and we just didn't need drama to have fun with our relationship. I really liked that, a lot!
So here's to hoping my girls aren't drama queens and that I have enough patience to guide them successfully away from situations that lead to drama (like intentionally stealing a toy from your sister and you are surprised she pulled your hair to try to get it back, really??) Thankfully they are healthy, loving, adorable sisters and are best friends who can also drive each other nuts!
Anyway, the quiet gave me some time to check email, pay bills and actually read a few news stories. Ok, maybe not technically news stories but entertaining articles that I never get to read. One that I happened upon was 3 mistakes in marriage that lead to divorce. Titles like this always interest me. I am always optimistic that I will click on the article and mistake 1 will be not taking your vows seriously. It is never that, and I am always shocked. I guess I am a slow learner.
According to this article, mistake 1 is altruism or selflessness. I don't know about you but selflessness makes my marriage work! Jesus taught us to be selfless and He is the image I try to follow. This idea that selflessness would lead to the ruin of your marriage intrigued me enough to keep reading. The article's justification is that selflessness leads to resentment which can topple your marriage. I laughed out loud, literally, and just shook my head.
What kind of moron equates selflessness with resentment? If you feel resentment then your action wasn't really selfless. You had an ulterior motive and it didn't get fulfilled aka selfishness. Selflessness is doing something for someone else regardless of your own desires because you recognize that thing as good for the other person. This doesn't mean rolling over and playing dead or never having an opinion. Selfishness is doing something for yourself. Always giving in to your spouses request for a dinner option because you hope eventually he will ask you what you want is not selfless, it is selfish and a little passive aggressive if you ask me.
Speaking of making a marriage work with selflessness, I truly do love my husband. He is a great man. He has struggled for the last 3 years with a lot of medical stuff but he has really tried to be a trooper through it all and keep his attitude positive. Anyone who has suffered with a chronic illness or who has been associated with someone who has knows it is a daily struggle and a daily choice to be optimistic and positive. He has put up with me and my whining through 3 pregnancies during his sick time and he really has kept us going as a family. So now I guess it is my turn to be the selfless one :)
We recently visited a doctor that gave us a plan of action to get him healthy again! I am hoping to write a blog about that in the future. It has only been 2 weeks so I guess I would like to see some tangible results before I praise the doctor too much! Anyway, Leron was put on a pretty strict diet. It's hard on him, harder on me. I am the menu maker, grocery shopper and cook in this house. So I had to learn about his new diet more than he did. I had to make sure I bought and prepared the right things to get him healthy and he just had to eat it.
So far so good, and again once I see some results, more than just 2 weeks of a husband with energy and hope again (such a relief), I will include recipes and details about all of it.
For now, prayers that we can continue down this path to recovery for him, lots of yummy meal inspirations for me, less drama from the girls and a smooth delivery whenever this little human wants to join us on the outside.
God Bless,
Hannah
The Farmer's Wife
The past 2 months have flown by! Around here school kids only get an 8 week summer break because of many schools switching to a balanced calendar. And even though I don't have school aged children (and won't really have to worry about a school calendar because of our intent to homeschool) all of our friends and activities are affected by the scheduling so there is a slight trickle down effect.
Today, I was blessed with some quiet time while my girls took a much needed morning nap. For almost a year now they have both been doing only 1 nap a day and it is usually in the afternoon. But today was full of drama, hair pulling, toy stealing, and just general girl hormones that a morning nap was the only way I could see to get past the every 5 minute meltdowns of epic proportions. Just one more thing I get to learn about because I have 2 girls. I have never really been into drama, no teenage rebellion or fabricated scenarios to fight about with my friends. I had 3 close friends growing up. 1 was my older sister, we had our "drama" but it was short lived and forgotten and the older we get the more we avoid any drama like the plague! The other two were friends for as long as I can remember and we just didn't need drama to have fun with our relationship. I really liked that, a lot!
So here's to hoping my girls aren't drama queens and that I have enough patience to guide them successfully away from situations that lead to drama (like intentionally stealing a toy from your sister and you are surprised she pulled your hair to try to get it back, really??) Thankfully they are healthy, loving, adorable sisters and are best friends who can also drive each other nuts!
Anyway, the quiet gave me some time to check email, pay bills and actually read a few news stories. Ok, maybe not technically news stories but entertaining articles that I never get to read. One that I happened upon was 3 mistakes in marriage that lead to divorce. Titles like this always interest me. I am always optimistic that I will click on the article and mistake 1 will be not taking your vows seriously. It is never that, and I am always shocked. I guess I am a slow learner.
According to this article, mistake 1 is altruism or selflessness. I don't know about you but selflessness makes my marriage work! Jesus taught us to be selfless and He is the image I try to follow. This idea that selflessness would lead to the ruin of your marriage intrigued me enough to keep reading. The article's justification is that selflessness leads to resentment which can topple your marriage. I laughed out loud, literally, and just shook my head.
What kind of moron equates selflessness with resentment? If you feel resentment then your action wasn't really selfless. You had an ulterior motive and it didn't get fulfilled aka selfishness. Selflessness is doing something for someone else regardless of your own desires because you recognize that thing as good for the other person. This doesn't mean rolling over and playing dead or never having an opinion. Selfishness is doing something for yourself. Always giving in to your spouses request for a dinner option because you hope eventually he will ask you what you want is not selfless, it is selfish and a little passive aggressive if you ask me.
Speaking of making a marriage work with selflessness, I truly do love my husband. He is a great man. He has struggled for the last 3 years with a lot of medical stuff but he has really tried to be a trooper through it all and keep his attitude positive. Anyone who has suffered with a chronic illness or who has been associated with someone who has knows it is a daily struggle and a daily choice to be optimistic and positive. He has put up with me and my whining through 3 pregnancies during his sick time and he really has kept us going as a family. So now I guess it is my turn to be the selfless one :)
We recently visited a doctor that gave us a plan of action to get him healthy again! I am hoping to write a blog about that in the future. It has only been 2 weeks so I guess I would like to see some tangible results before I praise the doctor too much! Anyway, Leron was put on a pretty strict diet. It's hard on him, harder on me. I am the menu maker, grocery shopper and cook in this house. So I had to learn about his new diet more than he did. I had to make sure I bought and prepared the right things to get him healthy and he just had to eat it.
So far so good, and again once I see some results, more than just 2 weeks of a husband with energy and hope again (such a relief), I will include recipes and details about all of it.
For now, prayers that we can continue down this path to recovery for him, lots of yummy meal inspirations for me, less drama from the girls and a smooth delivery whenever this little human wants to join us on the outside.
God Bless,
Hannah
The Farmer's Wife
Friday, June 7, 2013
I need help!
Ugh! I need help...
This has become the most annoying phrase out of my child's mouth. My adorable, almost 3 year old Nalley is much more competent than she gives herself credit for being. Call it a personality flaw, but she likes to be acknowledged when she does something, anything. She craves the attention, the applause, the smiles, the hugs, the "good jobs" and all the other fanfare that seems to accompany a small child's achievements.
There are days when I want to pull my hair out because I have 85 other things to do and her "I need help!" is not really a need as much as it is a want. What she is really saying is "look what I can do, now do I get fruit snacks for that?" On those days it takes every prayer for patience and sanity I have to keep my hair on my head. Sometimes I fail, sometimes badly and more than a little is ripped out (it is so nice and thick these days no one could notice, thanks pregnancy!)
After several days of little sleep or interrupted sleep (thank you pregnancy again!) the hair pulling episodes for me seemed to be unavoidable. I needed a break, I needed her to be self reliant, I needed coffee and apparently I needed to put my hair up in a pony tail to protect me from myself! I had to come up with a better way to deal with her "needing" me before the resentment grew.
Isn't God wonderful? You turn to Him in prayer and more times than not you have a nice answer or reply, sometimes it isn't quite what you expected or wanted but it is awesome!
So I start my prayer for more patience and it goes something like this, "Oh Lord! She is at it again today and I need...
I couldn't even complete my prayer because I was struck totally and completely still and silent. There were those words coming from my own mouth going up to my father's ears. After a small little guilt trip for getting mad at my child for something I do a lot (hypocrisy isn't fun!), I said a quick thank you to the big man.
So here is what I took from my little needs based assessment...
Like any parent of older children will say, they grow up way too fast and you will miss these days. I am sure I will miss Nalley asking me 92 times a day for help. In the middle of it, it is annoying, but I will miss it. I will miss her reaching for my hand to hold when we cross the street because she is big enough to do it herself. I will probably cry a little when she tells me she doesn't need me anymore. A mother knows her children always need her just not in the same way we once did.
In a similar way, we can NEVER outgrow God. We will always need Him in our lives. He wants us to be like a small child and ask for help so He can be here with us. God sees us as His children. He wants us to need Him. He wants us to turn to Him. He doesn't even mind if it is only for a little bit of encouragement.
I am trying to be a good mother. Sometimes my girls need to do it on their own. They need to grow, they need to change, they need to recognize their value and their worth. I have to allow them to fail every once in awhile, I have to take a step back and tell them no when they ask for help sometimes.
God is a good father. He is always with us, just a quick request for help away. But sometimes, He lets us grow. He tells us no. He allows us to remind ourselves about our own self worth and our value as His creation.
God Bless!
Hannah
The Farmer's Wife
This has become the most annoying phrase out of my child's mouth. My adorable, almost 3 year old Nalley is much more competent than she gives herself credit for being. Call it a personality flaw, but she likes to be acknowledged when she does something, anything. She craves the attention, the applause, the smiles, the hugs, the "good jobs" and all the other fanfare that seems to accompany a small child's achievements.
There are days when I want to pull my hair out because I have 85 other things to do and her "I need help!" is not really a need as much as it is a want. What she is really saying is "look what I can do, now do I get fruit snacks for that?" On those days it takes every prayer for patience and sanity I have to keep my hair on my head. Sometimes I fail, sometimes badly and more than a little is ripped out (it is so nice and thick these days no one could notice, thanks pregnancy!)
After several days of little sleep or interrupted sleep (thank you pregnancy again!) the hair pulling episodes for me seemed to be unavoidable. I needed a break, I needed her to be self reliant, I needed coffee and apparently I needed to put my hair up in a pony tail to protect me from myself! I had to come up with a better way to deal with her "needing" me before the resentment grew.
Isn't God wonderful? You turn to Him in prayer and more times than not you have a nice answer or reply, sometimes it isn't quite what you expected or wanted but it is awesome!
So I start my prayer for more patience and it goes something like this, "Oh Lord! She is at it again today and I need...
I couldn't even complete my prayer because I was struck totally and completely still and silent. There were those words coming from my own mouth going up to my father's ears. After a small little guilt trip for getting mad at my child for something I do a lot (hypocrisy isn't fun!), I said a quick thank you to the big man.
So here is what I took from my little needs based assessment...
Like any parent of older children will say, they grow up way too fast and you will miss these days. I am sure I will miss Nalley asking me 92 times a day for help. In the middle of it, it is annoying, but I will miss it. I will miss her reaching for my hand to hold when we cross the street because she is big enough to do it herself. I will probably cry a little when she tells me she doesn't need me anymore. A mother knows her children always need her just not in the same way we once did.
In a similar way, we can NEVER outgrow God. We will always need Him in our lives. He wants us to be like a small child and ask for help so He can be here with us. God sees us as His children. He wants us to need Him. He wants us to turn to Him. He doesn't even mind if it is only for a little bit of encouragement.
I am trying to be a good mother. Sometimes my girls need to do it on their own. They need to grow, they need to change, they need to recognize their value and their worth. I have to allow them to fail every once in awhile, I have to take a step back and tell them no when they ask for help sometimes.
God is a good father. He is always with us, just a quick request for help away. But sometimes, He lets us grow. He tells us no. He allows us to remind ourselves about our own self worth and our value as His creation.
God Bless!
Hannah
The Farmer's Wife
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Those questions
I had a doctor's appointment today that included hopefully the one and only ultrasound I will need this pregnancy. We did not find out the gender of little #3 but we did find out baby is very healthy! We got to see the 4 chambered heart, the kidneys, stomach, spine, head, face, arms, legs, hands and feet. Can you believe how amazingly developed a baby is at 20 weeks? My dates look almost spot on and our little one already weighs almost a full pound!
I have loved this little, growing person since I knew that he/she was growing inside of me. Really I probably loved him/her before that because I knew that conception was such a real possibility. To know that everything looks good and that baby is growing and should be joining us on the outside in September is almost overwhelming in a very, very good way.
I have just started to show and I have some amazing friends who understand that I am Catholic and that Leron and I live our lives according to Catholic Doctrine so I have been able to avoid "those questions" until now. You know the ones, was this planned? are you done? do you want a boy? if it is a boy will you be done? are you crazy? you know what causes that right? so how many more do you think you want? do you think you can handle three under three? and on and on and on... it is amazing to me how "friendly" strangers in the grocery store get. But I thought I should get in a little more practice answering these mostly intimate, personal questions that are bound to come up more frequently as my belly grows.
Was this planned? Oh what a sticky question. It kind of goes along with "You know what causes this right?". If the question is did we sit down and look at our life calendar for the next 18+ years and decide if foregoing the vacations, fancy dinners out, and sanity were easily penciled in for this pregnancy and dependent care years of this child, absolutely not. You can't plan children. Did we even sit down and say of that could result in another summer pregnant in my third trimester? Nope. What we did do is much simpler than that. We handed control of our lives over to someone who is a much better organizer. He makes beautiful things and can make something out of nothing. He can take a husband and wife and create a new life.
Are you done? This one makes me laugh just a little. I am responsible for 1/3 of the baby making process. Leron gives 1/3 but really it is that last remaining 1/3 that neither he nor I could do on our own. I pray we are not parents to only 3 children. I would love to have a full house of kids running around. I also pray that I can accept God's will for my life. This year He willed me to be a mother for the third time. He may never will for it to happen a fourth or He may will that it happens 15 times. I pray to be open to that calling.
Do I want a boy? Yes I do want a boy. Will I be disappointed if they lay that freshly birthed child on my chest and there are not boy parts between the legs, not one bit. I will cry with happiness for the miracle and blessing that the baby is not cry over what the baby is not. I would love to give my big farmer man a little farmer boy but Leron loves the girls more than life itself and I am sure one more girl would just make us that much more of a happy family.
If it's a boy will we be done? I am not going to put a limit on the gifts God wants to give me.
Am I crazy? Yes, mostly, but it is what you have to do to get by with a farming husband and two toddler daughters while pregnant with your third. Life is more fun when you are a little crazy anyway. Also crazy = blessed and given a huge amount of grace to live life. I could not do what I do without God.
Do you think you can handle three under three? No I know for a fact that I cannot handle having three children. I cannot handle getting out of bed in the morning. I live this life by the grace of God and not by my own ability. I mother through grace. I am a wife through grace. I will only be able to "handle" three under three by the grace of God and leaning on His strength. I also take great solace in the idea that He gave me these three gifts because He wanted something great to come from my life. I will not let my fear of "not handling" them ruin the opportunity I have to impact the world not only through my life but through the lives of my children and all of the people we meet.
God Bless!
Hannah
The Farmer's Wife
I have loved this little, growing person since I knew that he/she was growing inside of me. Really I probably loved him/her before that because I knew that conception was such a real possibility. To know that everything looks good and that baby is growing and should be joining us on the outside in September is almost overwhelming in a very, very good way.
I have just started to show and I have some amazing friends who understand that I am Catholic and that Leron and I live our lives according to Catholic Doctrine so I have been able to avoid "those questions" until now. You know the ones, was this planned? are you done? do you want a boy? if it is a boy will you be done? are you crazy? you know what causes that right? so how many more do you think you want? do you think you can handle three under three? and on and on and on... it is amazing to me how "friendly" strangers in the grocery store get. But I thought I should get in a little more practice answering these mostly intimate, personal questions that are bound to come up more frequently as my belly grows.
Was this planned? Oh what a sticky question. It kind of goes along with "You know what causes this right?". If the question is did we sit down and look at our life calendar for the next 18+ years and decide if foregoing the vacations, fancy dinners out, and sanity were easily penciled in for this pregnancy and dependent care years of this child, absolutely not. You can't plan children. Did we even sit down and say of that could result in another summer pregnant in my third trimester? Nope. What we did do is much simpler than that. We handed control of our lives over to someone who is a much better organizer. He makes beautiful things and can make something out of nothing. He can take a husband and wife and create a new life.
Are you done? This one makes me laugh just a little. I am responsible for 1/3 of the baby making process. Leron gives 1/3 but really it is that last remaining 1/3 that neither he nor I could do on our own. I pray we are not parents to only 3 children. I would love to have a full house of kids running around. I also pray that I can accept God's will for my life. This year He willed me to be a mother for the third time. He may never will for it to happen a fourth or He may will that it happens 15 times. I pray to be open to that calling.
Do I want a boy? Yes I do want a boy. Will I be disappointed if they lay that freshly birthed child on my chest and there are not boy parts between the legs, not one bit. I will cry with happiness for the miracle and blessing that the baby is not cry over what the baby is not. I would love to give my big farmer man a little farmer boy but Leron loves the girls more than life itself and I am sure one more girl would just make us that much more of a happy family.
If it's a boy will we be done? I am not going to put a limit on the gifts God wants to give me.
Am I crazy? Yes, mostly, but it is what you have to do to get by with a farming husband and two toddler daughters while pregnant with your third. Life is more fun when you are a little crazy anyway. Also crazy = blessed and given a huge amount of grace to live life. I could not do what I do without God.
Do you think you can handle three under three? No I know for a fact that I cannot handle having three children. I cannot handle getting out of bed in the morning. I live this life by the grace of God and not by my own ability. I mother through grace. I am a wife through grace. I will only be able to "handle" three under three by the grace of God and leaning on His strength. I also take great solace in the idea that He gave me these three gifts because He wanted something great to come from my life. I will not let my fear of "not handling" them ruin the opportunity I have to impact the world not only through my life but through the lives of my children and all of the people we meet.
God Bless!
Hannah
The Farmer's Wife
Saturday, April 13, 2013
I love Pope Francis!
Ok so up until this point the stuff on my blog has been my own stuff. This was too good to pass up sharing.
This is the transcript from a never aired interview with then Cardinal Bergoglio, now Pope Francis. This interview took place in the lead up to the recent conclave to elect the new Pope. Sorry for the weird format, it is from an email.
CAMERA ON / BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
REPORTER: Welcome Cardinal.
BERGOGLIO: Thank you. Happy to speak with you.
REPORTER: Well, let me get into it directly. Last conclave, you were almost elected Pope. Can this happen again?
BERGOGLIO: What? That I will almost be the Pope, again?
REPORTER: No. Will you be the next Pope?
BERGOGLIO: Friend, I'm only jesting with you. I understand the question. I will not be the next Pope
REPORTER: Why not?
BERGOGLIO: I chose not to. God has someone else in mind I'm certain.
REPORTER: But you would take the job if it were offered.
BERGOGLIO: I think not.
REPORTER: Why not.
BERGOGLIO: I believe I'm too embroiled in the secular fiasco. It is a spiritual job, and I'm a soldier. Look at the nature of power. In Europe first and now in America, elected men have taken it upon themselves to indebt their people to create an atmosphere of dependency. And why? For their own selfish need to increase their own personal power. I've been a keen observer of the effect this has on the people, especially the poor. They are very good at creating poverty where there is no reason to explain it. My job is try to alleviate poverty and if that means to oppose the cause then I will not be Pope.
REPORTER: But you are worried you would be a spend thrift pope?
BERGOGLIO: Friend. Where did you go to school?
REPORTER: La Salle College High School in Pennsylvania and.
BERGOGLIO: And after that?
REPORTER: College of the Holy Cross.
BERGOGLIO: They told me you were Catholic. Once elected the Pope is by virtue of the promise of Jesus to Peter, the Pope is preserved from the possibility of error. God would change any spend thrift politician into a responsible Pope. I'm just saying I'm not that man.
REPORTER: So what is your job?
BERGOGLIO: My job is to ask you? Why are men creating poverty?
REPORTER: What do you mean?
BERGOGLIO: I mean that poverty is part of the natural condition and that is bad enough. But my task is to prevent the aggravation of this condition. The ideology that adds to the poverty must be denounced. I have and this is the reason I will not be Pope. I have a saying for myself, no more poverty than God originally intended in the fall from Grace?
REPORTER: Oh.
BERGOGLIO: It is a spiritual choice, and I'm a political person. I'm sorry. I know you will make more money from this interview if I'm Pope. Or want to be Pope. But I'm sorry. I can't help you. God has already chosen someone anyway. Right? You learned this in school?
REPORTER: Yes. Well? Where are you on the issues that matter most, issues about contraception, women priests?
BERGOGLIO: This might be a surprise to you, but I am Catholic. We are Catholic. It isn't an issue and for you to pretend that it is being debated goes against God.
REPORTER: If you were Pope, then you would not change anything.
BERGOGLIO: Certainly God would direct the new Pope to have more compassion for these newly created poor. And if there is any social justice in the Church, the new Pope would have a stern word for the creators of the new situation.
REPORTER: But you are staunchly orthodox on the issues of abortion, contraception, and same-sex marriage.
BERGOGLIO: I am catholic.
REPORTER: You were punished for opposed same-sex marriage in Argentina. You opposed free contraception and the government exiled you. What do you have to say about that?
BERGOGLIO: I am catholic.
REPORTER: In the secular world, as you say, you follow the conservative line. You oppose, uh, same-sex marriages, very popular with young people. You are conservative on birth control. Won't that be the doom of the Church, alienating young people who support reality based faith?
BERGOGLIO: Since God created the world, he also created reality. You seem to be arguing that a man can't be Catholic in reality. Son, you are a Catholic?
REPORTER: Yes, of course. I meant no disrespect
BERGOGLIO: You don't have to worry about offending me.
REPORTER: Okay, good. Can a, uh, Pope even be elected if he is pro-choice or pro-love? I mean isn't the election sort of fixed in favor of anti-abortion and anti-gay marriage?
BERGOGLIO: Yes, the election is fixed by God.
REPORTER: Very witty.
BERGOGLIO: Well, you did ask.
REPORTER: It is being reported in America that you are against marriage equality. Is that why you feel that you can't be Pope?
BERGOGLIO: God chooses the Pope, and God also made men and women different.
REPORTER: But you are... a conservative and oppose abortion!
BERGOGLIO: Friend the expression on your face gives you away.
REPORTER: I'm sorry, I'm just trying to do my job.
BERGOGLIO: And what job is that?
REPORTER: I've been sent to interview eight men in line for the papacy.
BERGOGLIO: And I guarantee you that they all oppose abortion. So?
REPORTER: But?
BERGOGLIO: So, you feel like you need to alienate the eight from the flock?
REPORTER: That isn't it. How can the church attract young people when it is opposed to abortion and contraception?
BERGOGLIO: Young people are just as attracted to the truth as they are convenience and expediency. So we will call it a draw.
REPORTER: Doesn't the church need to modernize?
BERGOGLIO: Finally, I've met someone who will advocate publicly painting over the Sistine Chapel with one of the contemporary street artists. Are you sure you support this and in public?
REPORTER: What?
BERGOGLIO: Forgive me, I was rude.
REPORTER: Won't the new pope, don't these cardinals realize what they've gotta do if they want to attract young people to the church?
BERGOGLIO: I am a cardinal.
REPORTER: Won't the new pope, don't you and the other cardinals realize what they must do if they want to attract young people to the church?
BERGOGLIO: I've explained the mysteries of the atom to rural young people and also I've explained the Grace of God. And you know what? They can understand both perfectly well. Frankly, I have more trouble with adults understanding both.
REPORTER: But they have done focus groups; if you want to spread your message you can't have this position that's anti-gay marriage and anti-contraception.
BERGOGLIO: And you treat the church as a political institution.
REPORTER: So we were not gonna see any kind of change when it comes to things that matter like abortion or gay marriage?
BERGOGLIO: All eight of the men you will be talking to are Catholic.
REPORTER: Okay, I understand. Let's talk about your controversial stand on poverty.
BERGOGLIO: You want it to be controversial?
REPORTER: But don't you blame various governments around the world for poverty?
BERGOGLIO: Some. Yes.
REPORTER: But you refuse to blame corporations for their role.
BERGOGLIO: Okay, they also told me you have a degree in economics. No buyer, or seller either, enters into any exchange against his will. It is the nature of the economy. Man is frail, and he makes mistakes and sometimes is greedy and they enter into exchanges that don't help them. Sometimes they become poor, but they made choices. There is nothing the Church can do except try to educate people to become good consumers. Chiefly, for me, it is an education solution on that side. And the Church has more schools around the globe than any other faith. I say teach the people to save their souls, and also teach them how not to become poor. And now not to allow the government to trick them into poverty.
REPORTER: And you blame government.
BERGOGLIO: No, I blame the self-serving politicians.
REPORTER: So your solution to poverty is to change the nature of politics?
BERGOGLIO: Please feel free to broadcast this; I don't want to be pope. Friend, you are a socialist and your friends are socialists. And you are the reason for 70 years of misery in Russia and Europe now is seizing in pain from your policies. You believe in the redistribution of wealth and it makes entire populations poor. You want to nationalize everything and bring every human endeavor under your control. You destroy a man's incentive to take care of his very own family, a crime against nature and nature's God. You want social control over populations and incrementally you are making everything against the law. Together this ideology creates more poverty today than all the corporations you vilify have in the history of man.
REPORTER: I've never heard such from a Cardinal. I'm not sure if you are here to help yourself or disqualify yourself.
BERGOGLIO: Please air this interview. People being dominated by socialists need to know we don't all have to be poor. Some poverty is part of our being cast out of the Garden of Eden. But look at the empire of dependency created by Hugo Chavez. Promising them, tricking them into worship of government and his very own person. Giving them fish but not allowing them to fish. If a fisherman does develop a talent today in Latin America; he is castigated and his catch stolen by the socialists. He stops?
REPORTER: You would be the first pope from the Americas.
BERGOGLIO: He stops fishing. I will not be pope, but yes I am from Argentina.
REPORTER: And you didn't want to be pope?
BERGOGLIO: God didn't want me to be pope.
REPORTER: Perhaps he changed his mind.
BERGOGLIO: Ludicrous.
REPORTER: Okay, I'm sorry. I feel like we are getting off on the wrong path. I'm sorry.
BERGOGLIO: Yes, let's be productive.
REPORTER: You are a classic conservative Catholic theologian?
BERGOGLIO: Of course there's politics clearly in the Curia throughout the Vatican, but in terms of church teaching, it's not a political institution. It's religious.
REPORTER: I heard people, in fact, media people, "Is this cardinal, is he a liberal? Is he a conservative?"
BERGOGLIO: Tell them please, He's a Catholic. It's no more complicated than that. Catholicism is what it is. You don't have to believe it; you may not. You don't have to follow it; you may not go to Mass. But it's not up to you to modernize us.
REPORTER: You see no room for reform?
BERGOGLIO: It's not up to any religion, although some do this, 'cause they want the money. They want the membership. But the Catholic Church doesn't do it. It's not up to them to bend and shape and mold itself to accommodate the shrinking depravity of a worldwide culture. It's to provide the exact opposite. It's to provide a beacon out of depravity, socialism and sin, among other things.
REPORTER: If pope you would be bad news for the left.
BERGOGLIO: I won't be pope. But I am opposed to abortion. I'm opposed to euthanasia. The pro-choice movement is a culture of death. I oppose the demonic same-sex marriage. I oppose gay adoption on the grounds that it is discriminatory to the child. I was exiled by the Cristina Kirchner government, but I hold no grudge. How is this bad news?
REPORTER: John Paul II rescued you?
BERGOGLIO: He made me the archbishop of Buenos Aires. Yes.
REPORTER: And so you feel like you owe the Right some sort of repayment?
BERGOGLIO: There are many values and many types of people. Perhaps it is my interest in mathematics, but I'm the type of human who is interested most in the truth. God gave me a healthy love for the truth. Loyalty is only a virtue if in support of the truth or another important value.
REPORTER: Cristina Kirchner said you held a grudge.
BERGOGLIO: Funny I've never spoken her name. Not once. And it is a battle of ideas not a battle of two or more people. I'm only concerned with ideas.
REPORTER: She said you refused to speak up for civil rights violations.
BERGOGLIO: As a spiritual leader, I opposed cultural modernization, and so I became a political enemy. I understand politics as well as I do mathematics.
REPORTER: And the Jesuits, they were eager to cast you out, which they did.
BERGOGLIO: So you are implying that I'm a vengeful priest?
REPORTER: Do you feel that you need to erase the progress recently made in Latin America?
BERGOGLIO: I say poverty. You say progress.
REPORTER: Let's talk about poverty.
BERGOGLIO: Sure, there is voluntary poverty that is virtuous. Many understood the nobility of making themselves independent of the fleeting things of earth. They are distractions from our pursuit of the truth. I have no problem with this. I only oppose involuntary poverty.
REPORTER: That is what I thought you would say.
BERGOGLIO: Why?
REPORTER: Because you are a capitalist right?
BERGOGLIO: Yes, I think capital is needed to build a factory, a parochial school, or a church or hospital, all. Do you oppose factories or churches or hospitals?
REPORTER: Of course not, but don't you think the capital is sucked out of peoples hands by greedy business types to pay for these factories?
BERGOGLIO: No, I think people agree, through their economic choices, that some of their money goes to build these. Capital building should be voluntary. Only when the politician confiscates their wealth to build government factories, government schools, government hospitals; only then do the people not agree. Money given voluntarily is legitimate to build with. Money coerced from the people is not legitimate to build with, because it isn't given voluntarily.
REPORTER: You are opposed to all government?
BERGOGLIO: No of course not. But it isn't the seat of wisdom in any society I've seen in my life. The best government was created by the Americans, in which they admitted that people are endowed by their creator and most of the administration of society was left to the relationship between God and man. However, slowly that has been eroded by the atheists on the left who would replace man's relationship with God with a new relationship with an opportunist like Hugo Chavez.
REPORTER: I just found it fascinating that you were willing to stand up to an entire government in Argentina. You where cast aside. Didn't you care about your career?
BERGOGLIO: Yes, there are people who cave to worldly authority. Even priests.
REPORTER: But you didn't?
BERGOGLIO: No, I changed nothing. How did I have the power to change anything in church teaching? My opinion? The democrats, seeking votes, only wanted me to change my opinion and legitimize their decadence. I did not, as evidenced by the fact that I was teaching high school math in small isolated town.
REPORTER: I'm sorry that happened to you.
BERGOGLIO: Why don't you feel for others oppressed for their interest in freedom.
REPORTER: Freedom isn't punished anywhere, is it?
BERGOGLIO: Certainly it is.
REPORTER: In Latin America?
BERGOGLIO: I'm afraid Latin America is lost. The people of the entire area are controlled by a bloc of militant socialist regimes in the region, most prominently Venezuela, Ecuador, Bolivia and Nicaragua. They have a gun pointed at their head. So their heart is now captured. Who will save them at this point?
REPORTER: So the game is over. Checkmate?
BERGOGLIO: Friend, I've been studying America this month before the Pope chose to resign. You must not have fear at speaking the truth. It is for the salvation of souls and the recovery of Thomas Jefferson's people. America must not fall to the new painted communism. Even the low information voters don't want America to be sold into slavery. I pray they cast out the money changers in their government! What manner of government is there that condones sin? Abomination upon abomination--giving monies for the murder of children, giving monies for the murder of the elderly! You are an American. Your government, My child, has been infiltrated by men of sin.
REPORTER: These are pretty radical ideas.
BERGOGLIO: No. Perhaps reactionary. Radical means something different. But a very long time ago, Khrushchev warned that we cannot expect Americans to fly from capitalism to communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving Americans small injections of socialism until they suddenly awake to find out they have Communism. This is what is happening now in an ancient bastion of freedom. How can America save Latin America when they are slaves to the government themselves?
REPORTER: I'm having a hard time digesting most of this.
BERGOGLIO: The truth can be painful. You look angry; do you want to stop or ask a question? But you have created a new type of state, the so-called welfare state. This has happened in order to respond to the needs of the politically created poor. However, intervening directly is depriving the original society of its responsibility. Families escape responsibility in the welfare state. And churches even escape responsibility. People stop giving to charity and see every poor person as the government's problem. I am a Catholic priest and there are no poor for me to take care of, they are made permanently poor and the property of the politicians.
REPORTER: I'm not sure this interview is going to work.
BERGOGLIO: You asked and now you will listen, my son. The social assistance state leads to a loss of human energies and an inordinate increase of public agencies, which are dominated more by bureaucratic thinking than by real concern for helping people. Needs are best understood and satisfied by people who are closest to them who act as neighbors and parish members to those in need. It should be added that certain kinds of demands often call for a response which is not simply material but which is capable of perceiving the deeper human need. This is not to mention the welfare states excesses and abuses.
REPORTER: I think we are done.
BERGOGLIO: Wait. If I speak on the ordination of women, on celibacy, on divorce, will you air this interview and my message?
REPORTER: No, we are done.
BERGOGLIO: Partially what irritates me to the core is the media's inability to look at anything without looking into the cause of the various problems. People are made poor so they will vote for the very candidates that made them poor.
REPORTER: Have a nice day and thanks for your time.
CAMERA OFF / END TRANSCRIPT
God Bless!
Hannah
The Farmer's Wife
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Did you grow?
So Lent is over, and Easter is here. He has Risen!!
The question is, did you grow during Lent? Did you become the person God designed you to be? Did you ready yourself for the greatest of all sacrifices?
Around here we did some growing for sure. It may not be exactly in line with spiritual growth, but it is definitely saying, "Yes" to God's plan and it is definitely growth.
The human kind
Yup that's right, over the next few months I will for the third time (in four years for those keeping track) get fairly fat, eat probably more than I should, have enviable breasts and eventually, around September 5 my doctor says, pop out our third child.
A new child is an enormous blessing and a true gift from God. Telling people for the third time that you are gonna get fat is not really all that exciting.
But while I am not excited about the fat part, I am seriously thrilled about the baby part. I would do just about anything for this little human being growing inside of me, gain any number of pounds, wear the ugliest maternity clothes ever, keep my head almost permanently in a toilet bowl for 14 weeks, feel like passing out every time I stand up and not have anywhere close to the amount of energy required to entertain a 2.5 and 1.5 year old.
You can never quite be ready for the adventure of a new child, but we sure are excited!
As in the past, we will take bribes for naming rights. We gotta pay the bills somehow!
God Bless!
Hannah
The (Pregnant) Farmer's Wife
The question is, did you grow during Lent? Did you become the person God designed you to be? Did you ready yourself for the greatest of all sacrifices?
Around here we did some growing for sure. It may not be exactly in line with spiritual growth, but it is definitely saying, "Yes" to God's plan and it is definitely growth.
The human kind
Yup that's right, over the next few months I will for the third time (in four years for those keeping track) get fairly fat, eat probably more than I should, have enviable breasts and eventually, around September 5 my doctor says, pop out our third child.
A new child is an enormous blessing and a true gift from God. Telling people for the third time that you are gonna get fat is not really all that exciting.
But while I am not excited about the fat part, I am seriously thrilled about the baby part. I would do just about anything for this little human being growing inside of me, gain any number of pounds, wear the ugliest maternity clothes ever, keep my head almost permanently in a toilet bowl for 14 weeks, feel like passing out every time I stand up and not have anywhere close to the amount of energy required to entertain a 2.5 and 1.5 year old.
You can never quite be ready for the adventure of a new child, but we sure are excited!
As in the past, we will take bribes for naming rights. We gotta pay the bills somehow!
God Bless!
Hannah
The (Pregnant) Farmer's Wife
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